Managing an Effective Research Center: Lessons Learned from LKIHI FHUI

I want to write notes on how to effectively manage a research center based on my observations after working for over ten years at my own research center, LKIHI FHUI. Hopefully, these insights will be useful when the time comes for me to manage a research center of my own.

To provide context, I have worked at LKIHI for more than ten years. I have witnessed LKIHI accomplish a great deal as one of the oldest and most productive research centers at FHUI. Although FHUI houses numerous research centers, not all of them are active and productive. Overall, our senior researchers and student researchers at LKIHI are highly productive in research and community development.

When I conducted an inventory of LKIHI’s assets and past grant, I realized that my senior colleagues in Islamic Law and LKIHI excel at securing grants. Almost every year, they successfully acquire research funding, which explains why LKIHI remains so productive and why my seniors has a lot of publication and community development activities with students.

Furthermore, I can vouch for personal quality of our junior researchers, who initially joined LKIHI as students. They are high achievers and exceptionally productive in research, possessing all the necessary skills to excel in academia. Unsurprisingly, after graduating and leaving LKIHI, these former student researchers have become young, productive lecturers in their respective departments, even outside Islamic Law.

This brings up a fundamental question: What enables a research center at FHUI, particularly LKIHI, to survive and remain productive over the long term?

During my interview for a tenured lecturer position at FHUI, I explained the importance of a strong research ecosystem. My ideas on how research can excel in our faculty rest on three key pillars:

1. Senior Lecturers (Tenured & Doctoral Degree Holders): They possess deep experience, professional reputation, and the formal qualifications required to apply for research grants within our faculty. However, they often lack the time to conduct day-to-day research. Their crucial role as project leaders is to set the overarching vision and strategic direction for research projects.

2. Young Lecturers: Although they may not yet be tenured or hold doctorates—making them unqualified to apply for certain grants directly—they bring bright ideas, high energy, and dedicated time. Having served as student researchers themselves, they already possess practical research experience. Above all, they need access to research grants to stay productive. They serve as the vital bridge between senior lecturers and student researchers, organizing projects and offering direct mentorship to students.

3. Student Researchers: Students join research centers to gain practical experience, earn pocket money, and travel while conducting field research. Though inexperienced initially, they possess tremendous energy and time. However, they require guidance and structured training on how to become effective researchers. Based on my experience, student researchers play an essential role in keeping the center productive; research ideas often originate from them, and they handle vital administrative tasks. Frankly, without student researchers, LKIHI would cease to function.

To keep student researchers engaged, senior researchers must nurture their intrinsic motivation ("their WHY"). When I asked our student applicants why they wanted to join LKIHI—since we consistently receives a steady stream of student researcher applicants every year—they shared several reasons:

• Dynamic Activities and Travel: Seeing their peers' social media updates showing active engagement, field research, and travel through community development creates a sense of engagement (and healthy FOMO).

• Dedicated Workspace: LKIHI provides a dedicated physical room. Students appreciate having a comfortable space to gather between classes. While seemingly simple, this presence is valuable—as long as we, as senior researchers, ensure that the time spent in the office remains productive.

• Stipends and Experience: Students naturally seek financial support and professional exposure. They keen to learning from their lecturer.

• Passion for Core Issues: Most importantly, students choose LKIHI because their interest align with our core research themes.

Additionally, I have realized that when students feel genuinely valued and well-treated by senior researchers, they develop strong loyalty to the center. Ultimately, a supportive community is the single most important factor in bonding a research center together.

Current Challenges and Future Directions

Despite these strengths, research centers face evolving challenges. Because grants are no longer as easy to secure as in previous years, our University grant models often require publishing papers first to earn publication incentives afterward. Thus, my goal in research center is to train students to write and produce research before a grant is secured. This is challenging because publication incentives take time—sometimes years—to realiz, whereas a research center requires continuous operational funding.

To address this, we must explore alternative revenue streams, such as conducting specialized training programs in our areas of expertise. Additionally, I have observed other research centers successfully applying for external corporate grants (for instance, from British Embassy) by submitting tailored research proposals. They know what kind of research that will be valuable in industry. While I am still developing the capacity to secure third-party funding at that scale, I hope to lead similar initiatives in the future.

To sum up, while LKIHI’s past success relied on a strong three-tier human ecosystem (Seniors, Young Lecturers, Students) and a supportive community, its future survival requires pivoting toward early student paper writing, independent income generation, and external grant acquisition.

Doctoral Journey: Seminar Hasil Penelitian

Finally, I’ve made it to one of the milestones in my doctoral journey: Seminar Hasil Penelitian (SHP).

To be honest, I wasn’t entirely sure about what I had accomplished in my dissertation so far. It still felt like an unfinished and disconnected puzzle. But I decided to go for it anyway. The last milestone in my doctoral journey was the research proposal, which I completed three years ago. So, I decided to be brave and register for SHP.

What gave me the courage to do it was what my friends told me: SHP is basically an opportunity to receive input from the examiners. There is no score, and there is no pass or fail. I honestly realized that I needed that input because I had become lost in my own research. I wasn’t sure where I should go next or how I should move forward.

The exam date kept changing, which made me anxious. It felt like I was being dragged toward a death sentence, and I just wanted to get it over with. Waiting for the exam schedule also made me overwhelmed and caused me to question my own writing. The more resources I read, the more I realized that there were things I needed to correct and improve in my dissertation. Moreover, the experience I had during my research proposal exam still left a deep scar on me.

However, life must go on. Now or never, I thought.

The first exam was conducted only between me and Mbak Yeni. I was a little nervous because I know how smart she is and how high her standards are. Surprisingly, though, I really enjoyed the exam. We had plenty of time for discussion, and because it was a one-on-one session, it was easier for me to understand what she wanted from my dissertation.

Moreover, she said that my dissertation was easy and enjoyable to read. Hearing something so nice about my dissertation from someone I consider so intelligent and accomplished really made my heart full. It makes me smile all night.

For the next exam, I met with eight examiners from various backgrounds: Islamic Law, Fiqh, Consumer Law, Economics, and Law and Technology. The examination time was limited, which made the experience very different from the first exam.

During the exam, I can answer some of the question, but I am struggling to convince them about novelty. I also felt overwhelmed when I realized how much I was still lacking in different aspects. The examiners also pointed out that my dissertation still needed stronger structure and novelty. This made me a little upset because it meant that I still had a lot of work and revision ahead of me.

After the exam, instead of feeling joy, I feel devastated. I was crying, and still struggling with insomnia and headaches the day after. It was difficult to process everything that had been said and to think about how much more work I still needed to do. Probably I need more than one semester to make my dissertation complete. This situation makes me lost my spirit.

However, I’m trying to see it from a lighter perspective.

Mbak Dian remind me not to be too hard on myself. I have reached this point after such a long journey, and I need to appreciate myself first before think the next step.

I’m also trying to remind myself that perhaps the fact that so many people gave me input means that they see potential in my work. They know that I can make this dissertation better, and therefore, they expect more from me.

They also said that my data is good and that the topic is interesting and important. Several examiners even said that my writing was really good, comprehensive, and enjoyable to be read. They simply want me to make it better—to make the argument stronger, the structure clearer, and the contribution more meaningful.

So, perhaps I should look at it this way: people have seen the good work I have done, and that is why they have such high expectations of me. They don't want me to just graduate, they want me to create something meaningful I would be proud of someday.

And maybe, instead of feeling defeated by those expectations, I should feel flattered.

After all, this is another milestone in my doctoral journey.

It may not be perfect yet. It may still feel like a puzzle with some missing pieces.

But at least, I am finally putting the pieces together.

One step at a time.

33 Life Lessons

Adulting is hard. Nobody said it would be easy, and no one ever told me it would be this hard.

They say that when we enter Paradise, we will appear in the form we had at the age of 33. Perhaps because 33 is considered the peak of our youth. 

But personally, being 33 has been quite a roller-coaster year for me.

Some of the hardest trials of my life happened within this past year. It began with the passing of my father, which forced me to confront inner wounds that I had avoided for so long. Slowly, I also began to recognize the unhealthy relationships I had experienced with others, and little by little, I learned to forgive, let go, and accept.

The tears, months of insomnia, and repeatedly going through the five stages of grief took a considerable toll on my mental health. On top of that, these are also the final years of my PhD journey for both Ghozi and me, which has added even more emotional and mental pressure.

Throughout this PhD journey, I found myself trying many new things as coping mechanisms for stress. I learned how to play chess, became consistent with running and going to the gym, learned how to drive, and even started writing fiction. All of these became little escapes from the burdens of being a Doctoral student.

As I approach 34, I want to gather the 33 life lessons I have learned during my 33rd year. I was inspired by my best friend Camila, who collects life lessons every year on her birthday.

So, here are my 33 life lessons.

1. No such thing as a luck. What people called as luck is when preparation meets the opportunity
2. If you leave 4 things to focus on one things, you probably will miss a lot of things. So just choose to juggling five things; you will get 3 of them anyway
3. Four or five years will passed with or without degree anyway, so I choose to enjoy my journey while add some knowledge and degree.
4. In this life, side quest also equally important with your main quest. It keeps you from stress, help your growth journey, and make your life more colorful
5. No one can really love you other than yourself, so please love yourself and believe in yourself.
6. Every beautiful things take times to form. Be patient.
7. You will regret more when you not trying at all, rather than when you trying but failed.
8. Be kind but have self-respect. For those who can’t see your value and kindness, well let them loses access to you.
9. When you have enough self-respect, people will stop disrespecting you.
10. No one can make you inferior without your consent
11. Never ever be friend with insecure people.
12. People who need you belittling yourself to feel okay are not your people
13. Some drama are beneath you, not worthy your time and energy
14. In chess, if you have a winning position, you don’t need to tell opponent that he is losing. You just deliver the checkmate.
15. Be a competent but unbothered, because you don’t need anyone validation
16. The most attractive thing a women can do is to become so successful and so happy with yourself that you genuinely stop noticing if someone looking at you or not.
17. You are the five people around you. Surround yourself with people who value your bright mind and dream.
18. The most beautiful growth is becoming a version of yourself that is completely unrecognizable to those who tried to keep you small.
19. Learn neuroplasticity - we literally can be everything we believe we can do
20. When people said you change, that is the whole purpose. Change shows that you are grow.
21. One thing people forget about growth, it can be really painful to outgrow last version of you. But it worth it in the end.
22. Focus on your long term goal rather that short-term pleasure.
23. My dream is big and I’m not scared to reach it.
24. It is important to support and encourage people to reach their dreams and best potential
25. Think every possible way to improve yourself, to become better version of yourself
26. Be grateful when you meet someone that encourage you to grow, learn, and become better version of ourselves. They are very rare.
27. One important things to learn is detachment: you can't be too clingy to something that doesn't belong to you. And remember that everything is belong to Allah.
28. Some people cross the path with you not to stay forever, but to teach you something. Learn from their wisdom.
29. People come into our lives, leave their mark, and continue their journey.
30. We cannot hold to every moment forever, but we can appreciate it while it last.
31. Stop chasing validation from people that will never give it to you (or people in general, actually).
32. Learn not to love too much, because the greatest disappointments often come from placing too much hope in other people.
33. That's it. I am running out quote.

The Dreamer

One of my habit as delulu girl is having dreams too big, almost impossible one.

Sometimes I share it with people close to me. I also like to hype other person dream and encourage them to pursue it, because I saw their potential.

Along the way, I've learned that not everyone approaches life in the same way. Some people are naturally cautious, some are practical, and some are dreamers. And I am a dreamer, on the delusion level. Sometimes I can came of as wrong way: toxic positivity, tone deaf, over-confident, arrogant, or too naive. And sometimes it is exhausting being the only one who supportive but not receive reciprocal energy: support when I need it the most. Thus, I’ve always felt especially grateful when I meet people who encourage growth, possibility, and continuous learning; because they are rare. 

So, in this life, when I meet people with same soul, the girl support girl, it becomes very refreshing. Lately I've been reflecting on a few women who have had a meaningful impact on my journey.

First one I know is Camila. Camila has been one of those people since we were teenagers. We've spent years encouraging each other's goals, celebrating wins, and reminding each other to keep going during difficult moments. Yes I think we both used to be too naive, sometimes stupid. But with her, I always think every possible way to improve myself better. She also always encourage me even when I constantly doubted myself. I remember she had a dream as a Judge since she was a child, and look at her now. Seeing her continue to pursue the dream she has carried since childhood has been inspiring.

In my doctoral journey, Mbak Dian has been a source of wisdom, encouragement, and generosity. She has always been willing to share her experience and help those of us who are still figuring things out. She always encouraging me to believe in myself, and support me when I need it the most. When I said I was lazy and overwhelmed, she constantly remind me and sometimes scold me like a big sister. She also generously share the tips and trick for all classmate to ease our journey. She not have to do that, but her support is essential for us who still wandering. Meeting with her always recharging because we always discuss how to improve our life better: as a student, as a lecturer, even as a Mom. And of course, how to navigate real life after study. 

And then there is Feymi, whose passion and dedication constantly impress me. 

It is rare to have someone with same vision as you, same dream, and same energy to reach it. We have equal passion in research. With Feymi, I can feel like a war general with loyal right hand (and we are ready to build our kingdom hahahaha). But in truth, Feymi is the real war general, I just share my vision, and she executes it. I see she has big potential to be a star because she is much much more cooler and have more achievement compare to who I am when I was in her age. Watching her grow, pursue her own goals, and build her own path has been a privilege. I have no doubt she will continue to achieve amazing things.

As life moves forward, our paths may take us to different places. One by one they will leave me soon.

Mbak Dian back to Makassar, to her hometown. Camila will study in Japan for two years (after we get close again, after eight years separated?? The world is too cruel). And Feymi, well she will chase her own dream, and I support her wholeheartedly wherever she will go. 

While part of me feels sad about the distance, another part feels grateful for having shared this season of life with them. Sure, people come into our lives, leave their mark, and continue their journeys. We cannot hold on to every moment forever, but we can appreciate it while it lasts.

Because one important thing I learn recently is detachment: you can’t be too clingy to something that doesn’t belong to you. And everything is belongs to Allah, remember?

May Allah bless their journeys, and may we all continue to find people who encourage us to grow, learn, and become better versions of ourselves.

Mencari Islam di Durham

"Gimana Inggris? Apakah kamu menjadi korban islamophobia di sana?"

Sebagai seorang muslimah yang menempuh studi di Eropa, ada satu-dua pertanyaan seperti itu yang datang kepadaku. Mengingat aku seorang muslimah yang mengenakan jilbab, identitas sebagai seorang muslim selalu kubawa dimanapun aku berada, sehingga aku lebih rawan menjadi sasaran islamophobia.

Sebelum aku menjejakkan kaki di Durham, aku tidak terlalu memusingkan masalah menjadi seorang muslim yang minoritas. Kupikir, Durham sama seperti kota-kota besar di Inggris yang muslim-friendly seperti London atau Birmingham dimana imigran muslim sangat banyak sehingga tidak perlu mengkhawatirkan ketersediaan makanan halal. Setidaknya, menurutku menjadi muslim di UK lebih nyaman daripada di negara Eropa lainnya atau bahkan di negara-negara Asia.

Namun Durham memang bukan London; Durham adalah sebuah desa kecil dimana Islam sangat menjadi minoritas. Karena itu, sebagai minoritas wajar jika aku harus mengalami penyesuaian. Sebenarnya, secara penerimaan terhadap muslim, Durham adalah kota yang ramah dan baik. Walau mungkin satu-dua kali kami mengalami rasisme secara verbal, namun overall penduduk Durham tidak seperti itu; penduduk yang sebagian besar merupakan kakek dan nenek pensiunan sangat ramah, kami saling bertukar sapa dan senyum serta bercakap-cakap di jalan.

Untuk tempat beribadah, sebenarnya kampus menyediakan Prayer Room yang biasa digunakan oleh semua agama, termasuk Islam, Kristen, Yahudi, Hindu, Buddha dan sebagainya. Sehingga kami bisa sholat di ruangan yang memiliki salib besar menggantung. Prayer Room juga biasa digunakan oleh Islamic Society, yaitu komunitas muslim di Durham University untuk melakukan kegiatan mingguan mengkaji ayat Al-Qur'an. Namun Prayer Room terdekat ada di College yang letaknya agak jauh. Untungnya, sebagai mahasiswa magister Islamic Finance kami mendapat keistimewaan bisa mengakses Doctoral Training Center for Islamic Finance, yang dihuni oleh sebagian besar muslim. Selain penuh dengan kubikel dan komputer, ada ruangan khusus yang biasa digunakan sholat berjamaah. Namun bila jarak antar kuliah sangat mepet dan tidak sempat ke DTC, kami bisa menggunakan tangga darurat di kampus Business School untuk sholat.

Prayer Room di Aidan College

Durham University menyediakan mushola yang terletak di City Center, yang biasa digunakan oleh komunitas muslim di Durham untuk sekedar sholat atau melaksanakan sholat jumat, dan pada bulan Ramadhan digunakan untuk ifthar dan shalat tarawih. Namun karena letaknya sangat jauh di City Center (sekitar 45 menit berjalan kaki dari rumah), maka kami tidak terlalu sering ke mushola, kecuali jika kebetulan sedang berbelanja atau berjalan-jalan ke City Center. Mushola ini pun bentuknya merupakan semacam ruko dua lantai yang diberi kunci elektronik, tidak terbuka untuk umum. Letaknya persis di belakang Pub Dun Cow, sehingga untuk menuju mushola kami harus melewati gang Pub dimana banyak orang sedang berkumpul menikmati alkohol. Karena itu, kami diwanti-wanti oleh kakak-kakak senior agar tidak pulang terlalu malam dari mushola, mengingat kemungkinan berpapasan dengan orang-orang mabuk. Terkadang senior kami harus menginap di mushola menunggu sampai pagi datang agar lebih aman. 

Dun Cow Pub, pintu masuk untuk mengakses mushola di City Center

Satu-satunya masjid (yang benar-benar merupakan bangunan masjid) di County (Provinsi) Durham terletak di Stockton, yang dapat ditempuh selama satu jam dengan menggunakan bis dari Durham. Masjid ini hanya dibuka saat waktu sholat saja; selain itu masjid ini terkunci rapat.

Satu-satunya "Masjid Beneran" di Stockton

Satu hal yang menjadi tantangan besar bagiku di Durham adalah soal makanan halal. Sebagai seseorang yang concern pada isu produk halal-haram (bahkan mengambil skripsi dan penelitian tentang ini), mungkin rasanya hipokrit jika aku tidak mengkonsumsi produk halal. Tapi percayalah, kondisi menjadi minoritas memang tidak semudah itu. Aku nyaris tidak bisa menemukan makanan dengan label halal di sini, kalaupun ada itu hanya daging-daging di toko halal khusus muslim yang letaknya di luar kota dan harganya lebih mahal. Untuk beberapa barang makanan kebutuhan sehari-hari tentu saja hampir tidak ada yang berlabel halal. Sehingga, aku berusaha menyiasatinya dengan memperhatikan ingredients, melihat kode makanan, menggunakan scan halal (yang belum tentu info kehalalan semua produk tersedia), atau sekedar mencari label: suitable for vegetarian. Sebelum kami sempat berbelanja ke toko halal, kami hanya memakan seafood dan telur sebagai sumber protein. Sebisa mungkin kami berusaha menjaga agar yang masuk ke tubuh kami hanya makanan halal saja.

Di City Center Durham, sedikit sekali restoran atau tempat makan yang menjual makanan halal, mungkin hanya ada dua atau tiga restoran saja. Jangan bayangkan restorannya bersertifikasi halal seperti Indonesia; dasarnya adalah kepercayaan. Karena pegawai-pegawai dan pemilik restorannya adalah orang-orang IPB (India, Pakistan, Bangladesh, tiga negara asal imigran muslim yang paling banyak di Durham), maka kami percaya berdasarkan statement mereka bahwa mereka hanya menjual makanan halal dengan daging yang disembelih sesuai dengan syariat Islam. Biasanya juga aku tidak makan di luar tapi membawa bekal yang dipersiapkan sebelumnya dari rumah. Selain menjaga kehalalan makanan yang kita konsumsi, pastinya membawa makanan dari rumah lebih hemat (karena sekali makan di luar bisa 5 pounds). 

Dixy, salah satu restoran fast food yang halal

Namun ketika kami ke Newcastle, kota besar yang berjarak 15 menit naik kereta dari Durham, tentunya pilihan makanan halal lebih banyak tersedia, juga restoran halal. Bahkan di kawasan Fenham yang banyak tinggal warga keturunan arab, toko-toko besar yang menjual makanan halal banyak tersebar. Di Stockton yang juga banyak warga komunitas muslim keturunan arab, banyak toko yang menjual makanan bahkan frozen food halal. Sekali lagi, harga makanan halal tidaklah murah. Namun alhamdulillah, kami masih bisa mengakses daging atau ayam potong halal walaupun harus menempuh jarak jauh dan merogoh kocek lebih dalam.

Salah satu toko halal di Stockton

Overall, menjadi minoritas dimanapun memang tidak mudah. Namun aku bersyukur, sebagai muslim aku masih bisa tetap menjalankan kewajiban dan kepercayaanku di Inggris, negara minoritas muslim. Tentunya menjalankan ibadah yang tidak semudah di Indonesia seharusnya bukan menjadi excuse bagiku untuk tidak melaksanakannya; tetapi malah menjadi pemacu untuk tetap berpegang teguh pada agama dimanapun aku berada. 

Bagiku, inilah ujian keimanan sesungguhnya: apakah aku masih bisa mengaku dan menjalankan kewajiban sebagai muslim di luar zona nyamanku?

"Apakah manusia mengira bahwa mereka akan dibiarkan mengatakan: Kami telah beriman, sedang mereka belum diuji?" (QS Al-Ankabut:2-3).

Being a (Pro)castinator

There is a (Pro) in Procastinator.

Jadi kemarin habis nonton video speechnya Adam Grant, dan dia membahas bahwa kebiasaan procastinator itu ternyata ada baiknya juga loh! (See?)
Kok bisa?

Jadi, in general ada orang-orang yang melakukan pekerjaan/project/tugas mereka dengan tiga cara. Yang pertama, orang yang mengerjakan tugas secepat mungkin untuk mengumpulkannya duluan, dan yang kedua orang yang mengerjakannya sangat procastinate, baru dikebut menjelang pengumpulan deadline.

Kedua tipe ini sebenarnya sama-sama nggak bagus. Orang yang buru-buru ingin menyelesaikan duluan biasanya mengumpulkan rough draft-- yang asal jadi saja, yang penting dia ngumpulin. Yang kedua juga nggak bagus, karena dengan mengerjakan mepet-mepet deadline membuat tugas kita dikerjakan juga asal-asalan, karena deadline waktu yang tersedia sangat singkat.

Terus, yang bagus gimana dong? Yang bagus adalah orang yang pertengahan. Dia menunda mengerjakan di awal, mengumpulkan ide dulu, baru mengeksekusi di pertengahan. Tapi dia nggak buru-buru mengumpulkan juga. Dia menunda mengumpulkan project tersebut sambil mencari cara untuk menyempurnakan tugasnya. Jadi dia pun tetap procastinate -- karena mengumpulkan tugasnya di akhir. Tipe orang seperti inilah yang disebut Adam Grant sebagai seorang yang originals.

Too early is not good. Friendster dan MySpace adalah social media yang pertama kali muncul, tapi apakah mereka survive sampai sekarang? Sebaliknya, ide yang too late juga bisa dibilang udah basi di antara lautan merah. Misalnya kamu mau buka coffeeshop kekinian di market yang udah rame dengan pesaing di mana-mana, maka lebih kecil juga peluang kamu sukses.

Originals mengambil pelajaran dari orang-orang yang sudah memiliki ide awal, kemudian menyempurnakannya. Mereka tidak terburu-buru karena memang butuh waktu untuk menganalisa dan memahami situasi. Gojek bukan apps ride hauling yang pertama, sebelumnya sudah ada Uber. Tapi dia menyempurnakan ide yang sudah ada sebelumnya. Dan lihat sekarang, Gojek berhasil menjadi sebuah super apps.

Kalau pengalamanku dalam membuat sebuah karya tulisan ataupun paper tugas kuliah, biasanya aku membuat outline penulisan di awal, mengumpulkan jurnal-jurnal yang mungkin relevan dengan topik, kemudian mengabaikan tugasku untuk sementara. Sambil membaca-baca dan mencari ilham, aku mengerjakan sebagian draftku di pertengahan, baru kemudian menyempurnakan tugasku di akhir di tengah adrenaline rush menjelang deadline wkwk. Karena di saat-saat dibawah tekanan itulah ide-ide justru mengalir deras. It works on me. Eh nggak nyangka, ternyata teori Adam Grant memvalidasi kebiasaanku ini.

So, being (pro)castinator is not bad, after all.

Anyway, kalau yang tertarik nonton full videonya, bisa lihat di sini yaa

Perempuan Solo Travelling, Why Not?

Bepergian jauh sendirian kedengarannya menakutkan, apalagi bagi perempuan. Tentunya sebagai wanita, peluang untuk menjadi korban kriminalitas -- pencurian, kekerasan seksual, pemerkosaan, penculikan, dll -- lebih besar daripada laki-laki. Apalagi, sebagai anak yang memiliki ibu (over) protektif, yang jam 9 belum sampe rumah udah ditelponin, sulit membayangkan aku bisa pergi-pergi jauh sendirian. 

Bayangkan aja, sehari sebelum aku berangkat ke Inggris untuk melanjutkan S2, tiba-tiba Ummiku berkata, "Kalau Ummi nggak izinin kamu berangkat ke Inggris gimana?"
Duuh Ummi, jangan aneh-aneh dong *mendadak migren

Sekalinya aku pernah pergi sendirian ke luar kota, waktu perjalanan dari Jakarta ke Kampung Inggris, Kediri. Karena jadwalku dan temanku yang tidak cocok, aku berangkat duluan sendirian. Tadinya aku berharap kursi sampingku kosong sehingga aku bisa tidur menyelonjor, ternyata tiga orang yang duduk di samping dan depanku semuanya bapak-bapak. What a nightmare!

Akhirnya sepanjang naik kereta yang memakan waktu sekitar 12 jam -- berangkat sore, sampai subuh -- aku memaksakan diri tidak tertidur. Setiap ke toilet, aku selalu membawa tas komplit dengan barang-barang berhargaku. Selain itu, aku memasang muka kenceng bin galak sepanjang jalan. Ibaratnya kalau aku ini landak, pasti duri-duriku lagi berdiri semua. Pokoknya, aku nggak mau memasang muka lemah lembut apalagi kebingungan, yang bisa menjadikanku sasaran empuk kejahatan. Alhamdulillah aku berhasil sampai Kediri dengan selamat walaupun mata berkantung karena 12 jam tidak tidur. Tentunya, Ummiku tidak tahu apa yang aku alami. Pokoknya dia tahunya anaknya sampai dengan selamat hehe.

Ketika di Inggris, beberapa kali aku melakukan solo travelling karena satu dan lain hal. Biasanya karena ada urusan ke luar kota, dan tidak ada teman yang bisa ikut menemani. Tapi, sebenarnya aku pun tidak terlalu khawatir kalau sampai harus tersasar misalnya. Toh orang-orangnya masih berbahasa Inggris, kalau nyasar ya tinggal tanya arah ke orang setempat. Kalau nyasar ya tinggal buka google maps. Kalau kecopetan ya tinggal lapor ke kantor polisi, toh semuanya juga bisa berbahasa Inggris. Berbeda dengan ketika aku travelling di Eropa, tentunya aku lebih waspada karena aku tidak fasih berbahasa Jerman, Prancis, atau Belanda.

Pertama kali aku memutuskan travelling sendirian ketika aku melihat tawaran day trip di milis mahasiswa Durham. Day trip adalah program dimana anak-anak yang suka travelling memilih untuk mencarter bus bersama-sama ke suatu tempat wisata. Jadi perginya pagi, pulangnya sore. Day trip biasanya menawarkan tiket yang lebih hemat daripada kalau kita pergi sendiri naik bis atau kereta, dan tempat yang ditawarkan biasanya tidak bisa langsung dicapai naik kereta.

Day trip yang ditawarkan saat itu adalah ke Lake District di Lancaster. Karena teman-temanku tidak ada yang tertarik ikut, akhirnya aku memutuskan mendaftar sendirian. Kekhawatiranku akan kesepian tidak terbukti, karena aku bertemu dengan Raihaneh, seorang gadis Iran berhijab mahasiswa Newcastle University yang sama-sama ikut day trip sendirian. Sepanjang perjalanan, kami malah asyik mengobrol mengenai kondisi Islam di negara masing-masing. Lucunya adalah ketika tiba waktu sholat. Karena Raihaneh seorang syiah, ia hanya sholat tiga waktu, sementara aku sholat lima waktu. Kami sholat berdampingan (tidak berjamaah) di lapangan rumput dengan keyakinan kami masing-masing. Ah, indahnya toleransi.

With Raihaneh

Dalam waktu yang lain, aku terpaksa pergi sendirian ke kota Edinburgh untuk mengurus VISA Schengen. Karena kebodohanku yang lupa bawa BRP (semacam KTP sementara selama di Inggris) saat apply VISA, aku harus kembali ke Edinburgh disaat teman-temanku sudah beres urusan VISA. Berhubung aku pergi sendirian, aku berpikir sekalian saja beli tiket yang pergi pagi pulang malam supaya bisa puas menjelajahi Edinburgh.

Lost in Edinburgh

Dan ternyata, memang solo trip itu banyak keuntungannya. Sebelumnya aku sudah pernah ke Edinburgh, tapi tidak sempat mengunjungi semua tempat karena terbatas waktu dan itinerary. Ketika pergi sendirian, aku bisa bebas berjalan kaki secara random memilih mengunjungi tempat yang kusuka. Tidak usah pusing memilih tempat makan atau tujuan, sesukanya saja. Selain itu aku sendiri yang menentukan jadwal kapan mau makan, kapan mau ke toilet, dan sebagainya. Kekurangannya hanya tidak ada orang yang bisa fotoin kita. No worries, untung Iffah bawa tripod

Pics taken by tripod

Kekurangan yang lain adalah ketika harus pulang. Kereta tiba di Durham jam 10 malam, yang artinya sudah tidak ada bis. Taksi sudah jarang, kalaupun ada harganya sangat mahal. Akhirnya aku terpaksa berjalan kaki sendirian dari Bus Station sampai rumah, yang harus ditempuh setengah jam berjalan kaki, sendirian, gelap-gelapan. Sambil merutuki pilihan sepatuku yang salah besar (boots with heels) aku hanya bisa berdzikir sambil berjalan melintasi hutan dan jalan yang gelap dan sepi, berharap tidak bertemu dengan jurig, rampok, maupun rapist.

Terakhir aku pergi sendirian saat mau mengikuti Takaful Summit di London. Kali itu aku pergi dalam durasi yang agak lama, yaitu seminggu. Awalnya Rumy dan Danis juga berencana ikut, namun mereka membatalkan ikut di last minute karena masih sibuk dengan Thesis. No worries, the show must go on. Aku berangkat malam-malam menaiki bus dari Durham ke London yang memakan waktu sekitar 8 jam. Pemandangan sepanjang jalan sangat indah--aku melihat ragam kecantikan desa dan kota di Inggris dari pinggir jendela. Hanya ada satu masalah, teman sebangkuku adalah seorang laki-laki yang terlihat cukup besar fisiknya. Dan terjadi lagi, aku tidak sanggup tidur di Bis karena insecure. Aku sampai bela-belain beli kopi di rest area agar tidak tertidur.
Namun sesampainya di London, semua ketakutanku menguap berganti menjadi excited. Agendaku sangat padat seminggu ini. Selain mengikuti Takaful Summit, aku juga bertemu dengan Suli--teman Rumbelku yang aku tumpangi selama di London, bertemu dengan rombongan dosen FHUI yang sedang mengikuti conference di London, dan mampir ke Cambridge mengunjungi Tita yang sedang kuliah di sana. Untungnya dari travelling sendirian adalah aku bisa bebas memiliki agenda sendiri, tidak perlu nggak enak kalau misalnya harus meninggalkan teman travellingku.

Kings College, Cambridge

All in all, travelling sendirian bagi wanita memang terdengar mengerikan. Tapi di negara maju, solo trip sudah jauh lebih aman bagi wanita, asal kita juga selalu waspada dan bisa menjaga diri. Dan bagiku, solo travelling memberikan pengalaman-pengalaman berharga yang belum pernah kualami sebelumnya.

Jadi, siap solo travelling dan keluar dari zona nyamanmu?